New Moon

No, I don't mean the Twilight series.

Yesterday was a full moon, and it seems everything has been really strange since.

I spent an hour Friday afternoon drinking tea at Starbucks waiting for my yoga class. While waiting I saw something amazing happen. I witnessed a woman convince the homeless man, hibernating in the coffee shop, to follow her to the nearest shelter.

It is fifteen degrees outside and thinking about him, and all of the other homeless people outside in the cold all night, makes me very sad. I pretended to listen to my ipod, but instead heard every word of their conversation. I'm not sure if this woman was a social worker in disguise, but she knew exactly what to say and how to convince him to go with her. I wanted to tell her how impressed I was, and humbled, but didn't want to interrupt.

This experience is on my top ten heroic moments list.

After their exit, I spent a few joyous moments alone...drawing. Those moments ended abruptly when one of the closest images to a hippy walked in the door.

With two tables, and about four chairs empty, the man in a hoodie, painted leather jacket, and paint splattered sweats made his way over to me. He asked to sit in the chair right beside me, and taken aback, I replied 'yes.' I was so far into the corner of the room, my option of scooting away was deplete. He proceeded to start a conversation with me. Turns out he is extremely into meditation/ yoga and considers himself a 'healer.' When asked what exactly he does, he replied.

'I help people with depression and anxiety.'

Immediately I wondered if he was attracted to me, with only a glance? A poor soul sitting alone at a Starbucks. Did he know only hours earlier I was discussing, yet another night of sleepless, anxiety-filled dreams? These dreams have been going on since May of 2009, and most mornings leave me feeling like I ran miles, instead of resting. Or, Did he merely view me as an easy target? Someone helpless, drawing on a napkin, and young.

His stories of a trip to India and several music festivals were intriguing, but when it was my time to leave I felt strange. I spent the majority of yoga class and the evening reflecting on the encounter. Something, which I have yet to pinpoint, left me both inquisitive and bothered.

Was this a messenger? Or, my own messiah? There were no other witnesses in my little alcove, which made me wonder if maybe he was just a figment of my already perturbed and distressed imagination. He was not aggressive, and hardly asked me any questions. It was as if he already knew. The experience still lingers in the abyss of my frontal lobe, but I believe he may have been my own Hermes, a messenger at the crossroads of my life.

PART-y-TIME!

For the last few days...OK months, I've been upset about not being able to even get a part time job, let alone a full time one!! I was ready to call the quits and move back down south. I even tried harassing the people I had interviews with before my trip, and was told by one retailer, 'If they don't call you....they aren't interested.' In the words of Michelle Tanner, 'How RUDE!' I had almost given up, when I got a phone call....

I played phone tag with the woman on the other line for over 48 hours, until today. Today she offered me a part time job!!! I will now be working in one of the best gyms in the nation, let alone NYC! I'm doing sales in their retail store, but I do get a FREE GYM MEMBERSHIP!

This is great for several other reasons:

a) I can train for a bike trip I'm doing in California this summer!

b) I can attend yoga class at no cost!

c) I have access to Aveda, and other well known hygiene products!

d) There will be considerably great eye candy!

e) I will be in great physical shape...and getting PAID!

Needless to say, I am more than excited! My boss also handed me a bottle of spumante, a fabric agent had given her, as I walked out of the door. I love her reject presents, especially the alcoholic ones. Lastly, there's a big concert I'm going to next Thursday, and now I have a real reason to celebrate!!!

Part two of New Year's Resolution completed....

Next task: Find a new apartment to sublet, before the Saints WIN the SUPERBOWL!!!

Infused

Back in New York City I spent the majority of my time gluing rhinestones, so small you need a magnifying glass, to toggle buttons. While I don't actually mind the repetitive motion and ability to listen to music while I work; the constant hassle of being interrupted to run an errand, or dye something doesn't really allow me to get into any kind of rhythm. The only reason I'm doing these, and the dying, is because my boss says 'she isn't good at it.' The real reason...she doesn't want to get her hands dirty.

Between another long work week (getting even longer as show time approaches), and more job rejections, I was feeling pretty low. To not even be able to get a part time job, doesn't give you much hope for a future.

I decided to help out another nation in need, Haiti. I attended a benefit show at the Village Underground. The opener was a band called Marion Grace, where one guest performer of the band is my new crush. If he can do what he did to that guitar on my body............

The second performer was Jess King, who happens to be a friend of my sister. That is how I heard about the show, and another reason why I went.

While the venue is fantastic, dark, hidden, and underground, with black boothes and a small stage, the drinks are even better. A little on the expensive side, but ABSOLUTE-ly worth it. I had a Berry Infused Martini, which was pretty much a strawberry daiquiri martini. After two of those, my friend and I were two of the most happy drunks you'd ever seen!

The only thing bringing us down was the music? Jess King sings about love and loss, so after about three songs I was discussing life again....I CAN'T ESCAPE IT!!! She has a beautiful voice, and the other performers are very talented, but all the songs are very sad. My friend and I began discussing why I am so sad. In short it is this:

I have no job.

I have no lover.

I have no money.

I have no permanent home.

I have no prospects for any of the above.

Hopefully one of the above will change soon, but if not, I guess I'm going to become an alcoholic. Those martinis did a good job...one more may have just filled the whole void.

Goin' Back to Indiana...

My Parents: 'What do you want for your birthday?'

Me: 'To see my friends...'

And, this is how my weekend trip came to be.

While my birthday was almost two months ago, the trip needed decent planning time. I wanted to make sure everyone could write me into each of their little black books.

As the song by Jackson 5 indicates...there was plenty of soul.

I first arrived in Bloomington, post-early morning flight and hour shuttle ride (with most of IU's potential freshmen and their parents). I walked through the beautiful campus full of many fond memories and sat down at the Starbucks on Indiana. A few people stopped by, including an old professor of mine.

Jacked-up on caffeine and adrenaline, I proceeded to my friend's apartment to change for dinner. We met up with a few other girls from our sorority and had a fun dinner at Crazy Horse. We spent the rest of the night drinking, criticizing underclassmen, and waiting for hunger to set in, so I could have my anticipated slice of Rockits' Pizza. Sitting at the bar made me aware of my age, and our discussions made me aware of our maturity. It is amazing how much we have all changed, since graduating nine months ago. In truth, it is both scary and phenomenal.

A side note, for occurrences later in the trip:

I did see my ex-boyfriend...only from behind. He was high-tailing it away from me. Not exactly a positive response, but avoiding confrontation is positive?!

The next morning a few of us headed to a much needed breakfast at Scholar's Inn, another one of my favorite Bloomington haunts. I saw a few more people, and then headed back towards Indianapolis.

In Indianapolis a friend of mine picked me up off the street. Literally.

She recounted the story later as seeing me standing on a street corner in downtown Indianapolis. I was jumping up and down with my duffel bag trailing behind me, running to her car, swinging the door open, and almost getting hit by oncoming traffic!

Once inside safely, I was given candy (because she knows about my 5 year old within) and told to sit and listen. She became my tour guide as we drove around to see sights, neighborhoods, her high school, and more. We stopped in an area called Broadripple to shop and walk around. You know your friends know you too well when they anticipate your arrival with trips to vintage shops and book stores. Man, I'm a nerd. Or, a hipster?

We arrived late that afternoon where I would be staying that night (another friend's apt), and where apparently nearly eleven other people also caught a few Zs. Try fitting eleven people in a NY apartment! Let alone all of them having somewhere to sleep?!!!

A large group of my friends came over and we watched the Colts game, obviously. With a Saints and Colts win, we were all ready to celebrate and spent the rest of the night out in Broadripple, also the location of many bars. We ran into other alumni at one bar and danced our hearts out at another. Minutes before leaving, I saw one of my ex boyfriend's band-mates. While in the cab home I got this text from his friend:

'Wait, Where did you go? **** wants to say hi.'

My Response. 'Too late. I just hopped in cab.'

Justice has been served. I never told him I was coming, but I'm sure he knew. I also never asked about him, or why we weren't going to see his band play. However, he had his chance to see me, but ran away. And, he is the one who stopped contacting me. So, having him admit to thinking about me....and then not getting to see me even for a moment. Well, let's just say that, plus not relating to the Bloomington-lifestyle anymore, equals justice. And relief.

We got back to my friend's apartment only to be met by her room mates and almost all the people we went out with! I haven't stayed up that late since college, let alone staying up past 2 am two nights in a row!

My last full day spent in the Indianapolis zip code was largely spent with a friend of mine who drove 4 hours south just to see me. We had lunch, went to a movie, and stopped at Target, where I wasn't charged for everything in my purchase. The night before I found $5.00 in the cab, so I think I was on a roll?!

Sunday night I enjoyed a lovely dinner with three of my friends. I ate my Midwest Meat, the usual rare burger (see earliest posts). What I enjoyed most about dinner is what we all had to drink. My friend 'S' had a beer. She is laid-back, girl next-door type who likes to watch football. My friend 'L' had a sweet tea, which I consider to be a southern drink, complimenting her gentile and hospitable manner. My friend 'J' had a white Russian, which is a cocktail with a some flash and very sweet. I had a glass of red wine, a cabernet sauvignon actually. It is classic, sophisticated, and a little masculine. Needless to say each of these describes each of us, and I found it absolutely comical at the time. How often do you think we make subconscious decisions that also describe our nature or behavior?

The next morning as my friends dropped me off at the airport, I couldn't help but wonder when the next time I'd get to see them would be. A wedding is a little over a year away, but I pray it won't be that long. I waited until I got through security before I let the tears drench my face. It was when I called to let my mom know I was at my gate that it happened.

She asked, 'How was your trip?'

And, I answered, 'It couldn't have been any better.'

Let's Have a Quickie!

Damn I wish I was referring to some, great, sex story...

(insert sigh and a gentle tilt of the head)

Instead, I am referring to the update on my week, which is turning into an eventful one! Monday began with the general excitement of going back to work, as usual. If no sarcasm is sensed here, then please reread all blogs leading up to this point.

A new intern (#2) started, and I was nervous about having an intern #1 repeat. So far, so good...She seems dedicated and doesn't complain, yet. Monday also proved to be worthwhile, because during one fabric mission I was able to talk to an agent (very 007), who knows about a job opening. She asked for my resume, sent it along, and who knows?! I may even get paid to do what I've been doing the last five months. I also received an email regarding another job at a company, where I have previously interned.

Tuesday also left me with many great surprises! It began with an hour long conversation with our dyer and his actress/secretary, when I was sent to get a knit dyed. Yes, my boss would kill me if she knew we were sitting around chatting; the dyer chain smoking and speaking with his beautiful french accent. It was one of those rare conversations about art, psychology, dance, fashion, yoga, and life that are what this city is all about! It was also one of the most educated and inspiring conversations I have ever had.

During a fair amount of running around thereafter, I was also called upon by a part time job I have applied for. I have an interview tomorrow. It is a retail job at a fitness center, but a job is a job at this point...and it pays!

Then, in the afternoon I dropped off something at a very famous costume shop. They have made costumes for New York City Ballet, Barbara Streisand, Glenn Close, Broadway shows, and the list goes on. The people there showed me old photographs, vintage costumes, illustrations, and embroideries. It was truly a treat for a design/theatre nerd, such as myself!

And, just in case I had any doubts about my successes this week...I fell in the middle of the street. Almost getting hit by a car, bruised, and experiencing a strong sense of humiliation, I knew it could only be one thing.

NYC.

This city will kick you when you are down, and it will bring you down, when you feel up.

It's about learning to go with the flow, and a flow doesn't stop at up or down. It proceeds...

Nightmare on 39th Street (PART II)

A few days ago, while wandering through the 39th street fabric stores, I encountered many suspicious animals and objects leading to a revenge of my October story...

In one fabric store I was looking at fabrics, not expecting to find any animals other than dust bunnies. Suddenly I leaped in the air, practically out of my pants, as I saw mice scurry across the floor about twenty feet away! The worst part was that the employees did not seem the least bit phased by this! The mouse, or mice?!, ran by several times, and I'm sure he was not the first of his kind!

I am not someone unaccustomed to surprise visitors, like the bat in my ex-boyfriends' house last year. However, they never cease to frighten the living daylight out of me. They also give my imagination plenty of fuel, so now any time I have to go to the depths of a store, or stick my hand inside a roll; I am extra cautious, hoping not to encounter any hungry or rabid pests.

Later, the same day, on edge from my previous experience and hoping not to find Gus Gus (although I have come to resemble Cinderella), I came across an unusual object. This object, owned by many a lumber jack, and maybe even Jesus, too, was laying surreptitiously in the back of the store hidden between bolts of fabric. I managed to take a haunting picture on my phone, but have been unsuccessful at uploading it to here...it was...

A SAW!!!!

Yes, a good, old fashioned, wooden handled, jagged toothed metal saw. I am still trying to figure out why you would need a saw in a fabric store. Scissors? yes. A knife? maybe. A saw? no. If someone knows the answer to this, please explain it to me. At least this time the employee, catching a glimpse of me taking pictures on my phone, had the decency to move the thing about five feet away. But, I'm beginning to wonder if a customer closer to closing time would have had such luck....

A New Year...A New Resolution

Happy New Year!

After a little too much eating, way too much celebrating, and definitely too much drinking; I am welcoming in the new year. I ran into a few people on NYE, and took that as a sign for more coincidental happiness to come!

As for resolutions I seem to have plenty to go around. Is this a sign my life has got to change?! In order of importance:

1) Learn to 'let go' of anything/ anyone causing me unhappiness

2) To gently phase out my current job, even if it means working multiple, odd, part-time jobs

3) Apply to graduate school

4) Attend yoga class at least 2 times a week

5) Read more

These are some big resolutions in comparison with my 'Be More Spontaneous' last year. But, if I can manage the first one, I can manage them all?