A Dime A Dozen....Or, One In A MIllion?

The last few days I have been plagued with sleepless nights (i.e. my unconscious dealing with stress.....not sex(I wish)) and tiresome days. It relates to two main issues in my life, 1) being alone and 2) my job.

Is everyone out there a dime a dozen or one in a million?

After breaking up with someone over half a year ago, which I still can not believe how long and short that is; I have continued to think about him. I put much more into that relationship than I was apparently bargaining for, and he seemed to have an easy enough time cutting me out of his life entirely. I made attempts at keeping in contact and have since given up. I hadn't really been overly concerned with his well-being until the wonders of facebook got involved. Had his friend not emailed me and begun commenting on wall posts, as well as, pictures of him and his (guessing) current girlfriend appeared all over my damn newsfeed; I may not be the least bit bothered.

However, it was the pictures from Halloween that put me over the edge. A guy who once told me he hated taking pictures, so was hardly ever hassled, could qualify for beauty shot deluxe! And, to top it off he stole a costume concept I have always dreamed of doing. I mentioned, prior to our split, that for a couples themed party I had always wanted to dress like Jack and Meg White, which neither of us was able to attend. For the record, the White Stripes were (until recently) my favorite band of all time, and I have always had an obsession with Jack White. He decided to be an unoriginal jerk and steal. I'm a very passionate person when it comes to dressing up, and for some jerk that claims to 'hate dressing up' to steal my ideas....you better believe I am pissed off. Who knows how long it will be before I can even listen to the White Stripes again?! And it WAS my favorite band!!!!!

Was I just a dime a dozen girlfriend? Or was I an homage-worthy one in a million?

As for my job, well I think I am starting to stress a little, because of the interview. I haven't heard from the woman, and the few sketches I had time for were not my most creative, best efforts. But, how can you accomplish creativity from 7-9 pm, when you can barely keep your eyes open and your hands from shaking? Also, more odd comments about how nice it would be for me to stay at my 'job' continue to be made, and not just by my boss. It is encouraging that I have made an impact, but do I want to stay there? I'm still not sure.

Was I another dime a dozen intern? Or have I been one in a million?

Also, it is reaching November, and that means I am running out of time. With the holidays coming up, it will be January before I know it. My sublet ends the last week in January and without a job I can not stay here. Do I want to stay here? I'm not sure about that either. But, what I do know is moving 3 times in one year was enough, and I'm not sure I'm ready to go back home.

I guess my best bet for solutions here are never getting on facebook again (not gonna happen), finding a boyfriend (also incredibly unlikely), and finding any way possible (even if it means selling my soul) to stay in New York. I don't really like the way any of those sound, so I'm just going to pray that time stops until I can work it all out.