Reality Nibbles

A few months ago my parents got a new puppy. Her name is Paddy, like Paddington Bear, as you can see below they have a strong resemblance. When I went home last weekend, we had our first encounter. It may have been a bit more exciting, had she not gotten to see both of my sisters a week earlier, my aunt a few days earlier, and my uncle the day before that.

It didn't take me long to find out this dog has only one problem...how to contain her excitement! She began licking, jumping, wiggling, and biting. With all the joy and happiness in her little body she can only express herself by nipping at your fingers and toes. But really, the best part about this little pooch is the pleasure she provides both of my parents.

It was when I went to see my grandmother I realized how important this new addition to our family has become. Several days before my return, my grandmother was readmitted to the hospital. Before my visit I was prepped by my mom, dad, and aunt...

'She's beginning to say things, and we just want you to be prepared.'

'What kind of things?'

...an awkward pause ensues. They look at each other and proceed.

They went on to tell me about a variety of possible lies or truths she is confessing. She claims there is no reason left to live when a guilt like this encompasses your body for 20+ years. I will not go into what kind of statements these are, but if they are true...

they are a very heavy burden.

I was really frightened the first time I entered the hospital, wondering what the locked ward would reveal. I summoned as much bravery as I could and tried to remain calm. She was not the independent and strong woman I remembered. She looked thin, hair disheveled, and pale.

We were able to guide her down the hall to look at pictures and do some trivia during the two hour visitation time. The second time I went was not so lucky. She could hardly get out of bed this time and seemed so full of despair and grief. She is losing the will to live.

When I left at 5 am yesterday, despite all of the sadness, I felt relieved. I have to wait until my mother speaks to the doctor tomorrow, to have any idea about what to expect in the future. But, I have a little more faith they will all be alright, no matter what the outcome is with my grandmother. And, it all comes down to the little bundle of joy they have added to their home. My little sister, as they like to call her, is helping to ease a lot of the pain. I can only hope that the decisions made tomorrow are positive and that the puppy is not the only one smiling when I return.